I've had a lot of deadlines lately in one of my other jobs. I'm a book critic, and last weekend, I had a stack of books waiting for me. I did the math, and with a sigh, I realized that I had more than 1500 pages to get through. I reached out for the first book, determined to get through the pile, and then I hesitated.
1500 pages. Yeah, that's a lot, but there used to be a time when that meant a lot of excitement. When had I started thinking in pages instead of books, in simple math instead of the amount of literary adventures waiting for me - in work instead of pleasure? Being a book critic is work, of course; I get paid to do it, and I don't get to choose what I want to read. But it's a great job, as well. As a matter of fact, it's a dream job (even though it doesn't feel that way when you're forced to get through a less than stellar crime novel. No, Detective, don't go into the woods; the murderer is out there, you idiot). It was in that moment that I realized that I had to get back to how things used to be; otherwise even this dream job would end up being just another chore. Luckily, it turned out I had some really great books waiting for me - as in books you remember, for the good and the bad and for everything inbetween. It gave me back some of the faith in literature I had obviously lost sometime along the way, reading all those bad books and experiencing all that horrible editing. Now I have to take a look at my writing as well to make sure I don't make the same mistake there. If that means writing a little less or editing a little more, then so be it. The most important thing is to remember the joy of it. It's Read an eBook Week! So Torquere's offering 20% off your purchases from now through the end of day Saturday to help you stock up on eBooks! Just put 'read2012' in the coupon code box any time you check out at Torquere Books before Saturday at midnight to get 20% off your order.
Sale good now through Saturday March 10 at Midnight (est). Celebrate Read an eBook Week with some books from Torquere Press! They say you can never go back, right? Well, I'm between books at the moment - that is, my current project is being torn up by a colleague, and I still need to figure out how to move on from the first 30 pages of my next project. I've spent the time reading and working on other projects, but yesterday I took the day off.
I drove across the country to the sea, and it was a really, really great day. The roads were empty, I had Leonard Cohen's new CD on repeat, and the landscape slowly opened up around me as I drove until everything was flat and windswept and open. Then I got to the sea for the first time in years. This particular place was where we went when I was a kid, and it brought back a lot of memories. Some of them good, some of them bittersweet. I've spent happy days with my family there. However, the day also made me think of my mother and a trip we made when I was pretty young. It was one of the last things we did together before her alcohol abuse got serious and I pretty much had to manage on my own. It hurt to think about that day, mainly because it's one of the few times I remember her trying to show that she cared for me. It was also good, though, because I could go back - not to the past, but to a place that used to mean something to me. It still does, but I was able to accept the old memories for what they are and create new memories of a beautiful day on top of those old painful ones. Sometimes maturing isn't about struggling to improve, but about acceptance. Not forgiveness, not yet in my case. But perhaps I can get there as well. Well, this post got a lot more personal than I thought it would be; I promise to be back on track in my next post. Until then: Don't be afraid to go back. Good things might come of |
CB Conwy
I read and I write - everything from corporate to kink. My naughty fictional friends are always there to make my life interesting. And pester me, of course. Pesky creatures. Archives
February 2018
Categories
All
|